


мое золото

by JarorraKunSenpaiSan



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-07 04:40:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12833487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JarorraKunSenpaiSan/pseuds/JarorraKunSenpaiSan
Summary: When Yuuri woke up, he was expecting to see the back of Viktor’s neck, or his ceiling, or maybe an empty bed with ruffled blankets. Maybe he’d feel warm hands snake their way up his shirt and brush over his chest. Or he’d feel warm breath flutter on his eyelids. Possibly, there would be the smell of eggs in the air, and he’d be greeted with breakfast in bed and a beautiful Viktor.Instead, Yuuri was confronted with a flashing TV screen.





	мое золото

**Author's Note:**

  * For [painted_lady12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/painted_lady12/gifts).



> Hello, world!!^^ I’ve been waiting for a My AO3 invitation to come in for quite some time now, and here it is! This oneshot is actually based off of a dream I had. Hope you enjoy~

When Yuuri woke up, he was expecting to see the back of Viktor’s neck, or his ceiling, or maybe an empty bed with ruffled blankets. Maybe he’d feel warm hands snake their way up his shirt and brush over his chest. Or he’d feel warm breath flutter on his eyelids. Possibly, there would be the smell of eggs in the air, and he’d be greeted with breakfast in bed and a beautiful Viktor.

  
Instead, Yuuri was confronted with a flashing TV screen.

The room was small and empty, the light not too bright but the white walls blinding him. Yuuri was...tied up? To a chair that sat in front of the TV. He watched the fuzz for a second, trying to remember how he’d gotten here.  
Fear began to crawl over him as he realized he didn’t remember anything at all. He couldn’t remember what he’d been thinking about waking up to a few seconds ago. He couldn’t even place his own name in his jumbled up thoughts. Yuuri tried to pull on the restraints that buckled him to the chair, but the leather was tight around his wrists and legs.  
The TV suddenly flickered, and the volume turned up.

  
Then there was an image of a bouquet of flowers. Red roses that had a golden ribbon tied around the stems and a little note attached. A pair of pale, slender fingers held them.

  
A whole memory flashed through Yuuri’s head.

_“Happy one year-aversary!” Phichit tossed a handful of confetti into the air and laughed with Viktor. Yuuri blushed immensely, barely able to make out a thank you. “I️ planned a whole dinner for you two, and then, afterwords, I️ made sure that no one would be interrupting the bedroom.” Phichit wriggled his fingers expectantly at Viktor and Yuuri. Viktor smiled slowly and Yuuri only blushed deeper._

__  
Phichit began to ramble on about plans and when the limo was going to be here, but Viktor cut him off. “Could I have a second alone with Yuuri?” He asked innocently. Yuuri felt a surge of nervousness pour through him, but he glanced expectantly at Phichit. The Thai skater grinned and nodded. “Okay! Just come into the kitchen when you’re done. The driver will be here in about half an hour!” Then he exited Yuuri’s room, sliding the door shut behind him.  
Viktor took a deep breath before taking Yuuri’s hands and squeezing them tight, offering him a soft smile. “It’s been a year.” Yuuri beamed back. “A wonderful year spent with you, Vitya.” The Russian’s cheeks filled with a light rosy color. He looked at their hands, all tangled in their laps. The golden bands they wore shone like stars on their fingers.

 __  
“I️ tried to get you flowers, but Makkachin ate them, and Phichit had already come back from the store...” Viktor muttered. Yuuri just smiled back, loving the idea of Viktor buying him a gift. “It’s okay.” Viktor looked up at Yuuri, a sad expression on his face. “Still...”  
Yuuri acted on impulse, bringing his hand up to cup Viktor’s cheek and pulling him into a breathtaking kiss. They stayed like that for a long while, basking in each other.

 __  
When Yuuri pulled away, he pressed his forehead to Viktor’s and whispered. “I️ love you, Viktor.” There was a silence that followed, and Yuuri felt the anxiety of what he’d said begin to trickle down his neck. But he realized that it was Viktor’s cold fingers sneaking around his nape. And suddenly Viktor was shaking.  
He was biting his lip, hard, tears oozing from his eyes. Yuuri jumped visibly at the sight, bringing his hand up to wipe the tears. “Oh, no, no, don’t cry, sweetie...” The pet name only made Viktor sob harder. He wrapped his arms around Yuuri and calmed down, slowly. Then said, “I️ love you so much, Yuuri.” The Japanese man smiled into Viktor’s shoulder.

_  
“You still owe me a bouquet of flowers, Viktor Nikiforov.” They both laughed, and then Viktor’s grip on Yuuri tightened. He pulled away and gave Yuuri a gentle kiss. Then whispered:_

_  
“I’ll get you the prettiest roses you’ve ever seen in your life.”_

Yuuri gasped, unable to comprehend what was happening, unable to register the memories flooding his head.  
And then the picture was moving, and Yuuri found himself unable to rip his eyes from the TV screen.

  
The picture zoomed out, and Yuuri saw that it was none other then Viktor holding the bouquet. He placed the roses on top of...was that...a coffin?  
The silverette was wearing a blank, dolls expression. His eyes were dry and dull. He looked numb. Yuuri felt a large pang of guilt in his chest, but he still couldn’t clearly remember what was going on...what had happened...who’s coffin that was...

  
And then the image on the television changed, showing Viktor lying alone in his bed, hand over the empty space beside him, his eyes still glossy and blank.

  
Another memory came rushing back.

_“Yuuri~” A sweet voice filled his ears, and he opened his eyes. Viktor was smiling at him, stroking Yuuri’s cheek delicately. “You’re so beautiful when you’re sleeping, milashka. But I️ just had to wake you.” Yuuri took a deep breath, moving forward and wrapping his arms around Viktor. “Why?” He asked, his voice muffled in Viktor’s chest. “Because,” Viktor chuckled, encircling his arms around Yuuri and shifting so that Yuuri was in top of him._

__  
“I️ want to make love to you, Yuuri.”  
The words were said in a whisper, right into Yuuri’s ear. He shuddered, opening his eyes and lifting his head to stare at Viktor.

_  
Viktor, with his clear blue eyes that shone like sapphires. Viktor, with silver hair that was blinding and beautiful. Viktor, who was absolutely perfect and absolutely Yuuri’s._

_  
“No argument here.” Yuuri muttered, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Viktor’s mouth._

_  
They shared a small slice of heaven, then. Filled with giggles caused by mistakes and clumsiness. Touches that were barely there. Words that left them breathless. Pleasure that shut the rest of the world out._

_  
Because it was just them and it would always be just them._

Yuuri blinked rapidly, trying to catch his breath, the images fresh in his mind. What was going on? He tried standing up again, but the restraints kept him from doing so.

  
Instead, Yuuri watched his little reality TV show.

  
Viktor shifted in his bed, sighing deeply. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispered to the empty side of the covers. Viktor was staring at the empty space like Yuuri was actually there. “You could have told me that you felt bad, I️ could have—“ He paused, running his fingers across the bedsheets. Viktor patted the space once. Twice. “You said you’d stay with me, Yuuri.”

  
It wasn’t much of a surprise when another memory came flooding back to Yuuri, hitting him like a brick.

_He didn’t know what to say. What was there to say? Yuuri couldn’t hide from this anymore. Viktor knew._

_  
“I️ don’t...” Viktor closed his eyes for a second, confusion and hurt flashing over his beautiful features. Yuuri bit his lip, hard, tasting blood. “I️ didn’t really know it was this bad until—until it was done...I sort of loose control when I️—when I️—“ Viktor raised his hand, opening his eyes suddenly and taking a timid seat back beside Yuuri._

__  
They’d been making love for the hundredth time, the usual, when Viktor had discovered red lines across Yuuri’s hips. Raw from the previous night when Viktor had been out with Chris.  
“I’m sorry,” Viktor breathed. “Continue.” Yuuri felt immense relief wash over him. Viktor wanted to listen. Not to assume. To actually listen to what Yuuri had to say.

_  
“I’ve been able to stop for a while, but...I guess...I️ saw a few pictures of you with Chris on Instagram and I️ just...I’m not sure.” Yuuri felt the words just flowing out. “I️ had a sudden feeling that you would be just fine without me, that you could be just fine with Chris. And I️ started thinking back on all the time you wasted coaching me, and thinking about how in hell you even liked me, and—“ Yuuri was cut off by his own sobs. Viktor didn’t talk, and he didn’t move to hug Yuuri. He just waited patiently. “I’m not...I’m not okay, Vitya.” He looked up with watery eyes to Viktor, who looked helpless._

_  
There was a pause where the world seemed to spiral into nothingness. Where Yuuri’s consciousness seemed to be far away. Viktor’s sudden words brought him back._

__  
“Let me tell you, Yuuri, I wouldn’t be here unless I️ wanted to be.” Viktor said. “If I️ didn’t really love you, I️ wouldn’t have put on this gold ring. I️ wouldn’t have continued to coach you. Yuuri, I️ came for you. It’s always been you. Ever since the banquet in Sochi. I️ knew even then.” Viktor finally reached out and grabbed Yuuri’s hand, squeezing it gently. “And I️ won’t ever leave. As long as you stay close to me, too.” Yuuri felt more tears well in his eyes at the reference of their song. “But please, baby. Please don’t hurt yourself.”  
Silence fell.

_  
Viktor opened his mouth several times, seeming unable to form the correct words. Finally, Yuuri simply lied both of them down, having Viktor spoon him. “I’ll try, Viktor.” He whispered. A kiss was pressed to Yuuri’s neck, to which Yuuri replied, “And I️ promise to stay with you. Always.”_

Yuuri’s throat burned as the image on the television changed once more, revealing Viktor smiling to himself as he picked up a steaming bowl and chopsticks.

  
The image followed Viktor through the hallways of the Katsuki residence, until he entered a room that Yuuri recognized. The room that held Vichaan’s shrine.  
Right beside it was one of his own, a photo of him and Viktor on it.

  
The Russian kneeled and set the katsudon beside the photo, lighting a few candles and taking a deep breath. “Hello, my little Katsudon. I️ haven’t visited you in a while, but today is our two year anniversary, and I️ thought I’d make you your favorite dish.”

  
Yuuri felt scorching tears pour down his face and the guilt in his chest. He knew. Yuuri had done this to Viktor. It was him who was causing Viktor to feel this way. It was Yuuri’s fault. What had he been thinking? Viktor was all he’d ever have needed. Yuuri wanted to reach out and comfort Viktor, but there was no way he could ever do that again.

  
“We didn’t get much time, did we, milashaka?” Viktor’s voice was strained. His eyes flooded with tears. Ones that he hadn’t shed at the funeral. Not in his bed at night. Yet here they were, six months later, pouring down like rain. “Happy anniversary, my Katsudon, my Yuuri, мое золото.”

  
The TV screen went blank.


End file.
